Sunday, July 31, 2011


The touch of a child's hand against mine, the hug around the waist when I least expect it.  This is only a couple small things of what it is to be a mother.  The completion to my life that my children give has no scope of comparison.  I look into their eyes and see complete trust, love and acceptance.

Her blonde curls bounce as she bounds off with her brother.  They chase each other through the rooms.  Their giggles echoing through the house the the joy of the game.  My oldest looks annoyed as her preteen mind finds such things more of an irritation then fun. I can't help but smile as I remember how she was once so full of energy and laughter, and yet I am a little saddened that she has grown away from the joys of childhood.  Her fun is now on the computer or video games, though I can't fault her, her addiction of manga.  I'm the one who got her into anime after all.

I hear a scream of frustration in the back ground to see the devilish brown eyes of my son, I know he just did something to his sister.  She lopes out of the room, sad noises escaping her lips.  Her blue eyes rimmed with red and unshed tears. "Mommy, him have my toy." She squeaks reaching up for me to hold her.  Her four year old arms barely reaching around my shoulders when I lift her.

My son stands defiantly against her accusations. "I want it, I want to use it."

The usual banter continues and I have to solve the problem with sharing or taking the toy away all together.  Some times I get frustrated by this, other times, it just makes me smile.  I adore that my children get along so well, they don't see each other all the time due to certain circumstances, they love each other regardless.  Though my preteen doesn't like to show it.  She would taunt or yell at my son, just to feel the authority of it.  The gap in age has something to do with it.  My son being 5 and my eldest being 12.

Then my future husband will wake for the morning and join us, the atmosphere changes, the kids become quieter yet still play.  My preteen will then either latch herself to my side or hide in her room, depending on if I let her play on the computer.  My love is the disciplinary of the house, he has never mistreated the children but they respect him and will do what he says, much more actively then if I were to say it.  Is it because I am too soft on them?  No I think it is because they see the different roles, I am the care taker, the provider, and he is the structure and male figure.  We work well together and so the children are more apt to listen to the disciplinary and be more demanding of the provider.

This is my family, we work together as a whole.  My love and I are a team, raising the children the best we can, loving each other and the kids with all our hearts.  This is my home, my happiness is first created here, then spread to the other parts of my life.  A happy home life is a happy life, regardless of money or work problems, I have a place I am welcome and accepted, loved and respected.  This, above all, is what I've always wanted.

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