Sunday, July 31, 2011


The touch of a child's hand against mine, the hug around the waist when I least expect it.  This is only a couple small things of what it is to be a mother.  The completion to my life that my children give has no scope of comparison.  I look into their eyes and see complete trust, love and acceptance.

Her blonde curls bounce as she bounds off with her brother.  They chase each other through the rooms.  Their giggles echoing through the house the the joy of the game.  My oldest looks annoyed as her preteen mind finds such things more of an irritation then fun. I can't help but smile as I remember how she was once so full of energy and laughter, and yet I am a little saddened that she has grown away from the joys of childhood.  Her fun is now on the computer or video games, though I can't fault her, her addiction of manga.  I'm the one who got her into anime after all.

I hear a scream of frustration in the back ground to see the devilish brown eyes of my son, I know he just did something to his sister.  She lopes out of the room, sad noises escaping her lips.  Her blue eyes rimmed with red and unshed tears. "Mommy, him have my toy." She squeaks reaching up for me to hold her.  Her four year old arms barely reaching around my shoulders when I lift her.

My son stands defiantly against her accusations. "I want it, I want to use it."

The usual banter continues and I have to solve the problem with sharing or taking the toy away all together.  Some times I get frustrated by this, other times, it just makes me smile.  I adore that my children get along so well, they don't see each other all the time due to certain circumstances, they love each other regardless.  Though my preteen doesn't like to show it.  She would taunt or yell at my son, just to feel the authority of it.  The gap in age has something to do with it.  My son being 5 and my eldest being 12.

Then my future husband will wake for the morning and join us, the atmosphere changes, the kids become quieter yet still play.  My preteen will then either latch herself to my side or hide in her room, depending on if I let her play on the computer.  My love is the disciplinary of the house, he has never mistreated the children but they respect him and will do what he says, much more actively then if I were to say it.  Is it because I am too soft on them?  No I think it is because they see the different roles, I am the care taker, the provider, and he is the structure and male figure.  We work well together and so the children are more apt to listen to the disciplinary and be more demanding of the provider.

This is my family, we work together as a whole.  My love and I are a team, raising the children the best we can, loving each other and the kids with all our hearts.  This is my home, my happiness is first created here, then spread to the other parts of my life.  A happy home life is a happy life, regardless of money or work problems, I have a place I am welcome and accepted, loved and respected.  This, above all, is what I've always wanted.

Saturday, July 30, 2011

Fire Fly's Light

I saw the oddest thing by the corner of my eye, a flash of fire fly light just a few feet away from me.  The odd part it was broad daylight.  I thought they only came out at night.  So I went to investigate.  A swirl of light told me I was headed for the right direction in the bushes.  However, the light did not stay that luminescent green, it changed colors from pink to purple to red, it was quite astonishing.

I picked through the rough branches of the bush, searching slowly and quietly till it flashed again.  The little glow moved so fast I had to refocus my search entirely.  I slowed down, the soft leaves brushing against my arms as I held on to the branches, pushing them away slower and slower.

I had thought that perhaps it was gone, for I looked so closely to each branch in turn, searching for an insect but could not find one.  Sighing I let the branches fall back into place as they were, only to see that light, now blue, flash again.  Taken aback that I had not seen it when I was in the brush, yet there it was flashing in my face, taunting me in a way, I became more determined.

I walked around the bush to the other side, searching for a better angle.  Then I saw it, the oddest thing I had ever seen.  A tiny little dragon, the size of my of my pewter figurines in the house, and on its back was a little person, so much smaller then the dragon with little shimmery wings that changed color.

I had been so absorbed with it that I had not noticed my daughter creep next to me and gaze in as well.  I went to see if I could grab the little fantasy made real but my daughter grabbed my hand and looked at me with those deep brown eyes.  The fairy riding the dragon flew away, the color of early spring leaves.  I blinked and they were gone.

I looked down at my preteen with hundreds of questions swirling through my mind.  She just smiled at me. "Mom, some things are better left undiscovered.  You taught me that."

"I suppose I did." I said, gazing off into the direction I watched the myth leave my yard.  We smiled at each other and went back into the house, hand in hand with our little secret in our hearts.

Friday, July 29, 2011

Close your eyes, random writing

"Close your eyes." He said.

I smiled at him, he was always being so random.  His brown eyes twinkled in the sun as his blond hair reflected the golden rays.  I closed my eyes, allowing the image of him hover behind my eyelids.

"Now, listen to everything around you."  He said, I went to speak but he placed his warm finger on my lips. "No, just listen."

I opened my senses to everything around me, we were outside and the park was full of sound today.  I could hear the strange squawking of the squirrels in the trees.  The birds flapped away as a squeaky wheel sped past us, their screech of protest echoing back from each bird as they flew overhead. There was a low murmur from the couple that sat a few benches over from us.  There was a swishing of the trees before a slight breeze hit my face.  In the distance I could hear the rumble of cars on the main street.  We were far enough away that I never really noticed the sound, but now I listened for it.

I opened my eyes and looked at his face, his smile was breathtaking.  He sat next to me with his arm wrapped around my shoulders, we had been doing this for years and it would be our 25th anniversary tomorrow and he always had some strange thing planned.

"So why did I have to listen?" I asked teasingly.

"Because, sweeting, I need to make sure you can take in every amazing sound around you, we are going to a symphony tomorrow and I want to make sure your prepared for it."  He laughed.

My Brian, always the silly one.  I envisioned the sounds and was a peace.  He always had good surprises.

Writing Exercise, My Pet

So I got a pet this weekend, but my cats won’t go near it. Can I help it, if he can breathe fire? It's a cute baby dragon about the size of my hand. He has these shimmery scales that change color almost like a mood ring, which is great because I always know when to warm him up. It's so cute when he turns blue. I just put him on my chest and pull out my marshmallows. He has this tiny flame that roasts them nicely and then he begins to turn an orange-red, warming up from the heat of my chest and his own fire. 

I know your wondering where I got him. It was the strangest thing, the kids and I were walking home from the park and out drops an egg the size of my palm. It landed right in front of us, yet there were no cracks on it. I originally thought that the egg was from some nest, my mind refused to believe that it would come from anywhere else. But there were no trees in that part of the street. So I figure it must come from one of the buildings we passed, perhaps someone had it and didn't want it. I guess I will never know. We took it home and my eldest asked to keep it in her room. Since the egg seemed more like a rock each time I held it, getting heavier and heavier, so strange, dismissing the thought, I let her keep it there.

The next day I went in her room to wake her and found a small blue lizard curled up on her pillow. She had fallen off the bed and was outstretched on the floor. I carefully stepped over her to slowly reach for the creature. It lifted its head and looked at me and then it meowed. The cats came running and hopped up onto the bed. By that time my daughter had woken up and was silently sitting on the floor, watching intently. At first the cats licked the lizard-like thing and purred, until one of them licked its nose and it sneezed. A small spark came out. They bolted out of the room leaving the little creature shaking. I don't know what compelled me, but I picked it up to comfort it. Immediately it snuggled against me and the blue of its scales started turning color. 

My eldest said we should name it Draco and since I can't find anything online that tells me a different story there is only one thing I could guess that it is. So little Draco lives with us now, still tiny, still lighting off small sparks, yet he hasn't set anything but my marshmallow on fire. I guess I have to count myself lucky. 

We found out he loves fish and chicken, he doesn't care much for red meats, but hay that means I get to keep my steaks. We took him outside just to see what he would do, he loves the leaves of the rose bush and the ivy leaves. It's strange how his sharp teeth disappear when he eats vegetation. 

We set up the small cat carrier we have, the one the cats grew out of, for him to sleep in. He is very much like a cat in many ways, loves meat, sleeps often, meows, and he even scuttles around the house chasing the stray bugs that gets in at night when we go in or out. He seems to like it inside, snuggled up against one of us. He stays away from the little ones; he's smart enough to know they can hurt him.

I love to watch him drink from his bowl. He climbs into the mixing bowl that the water is in, then once he is completely submerged we can see steam start to rise. As the water quickly sinks in the bowl it starts to boil, and once it gets to Draco he pops up like a geyser and there is no water left. We love to watch it, and I think he knows because he seems to only do it when we are in eye shot.

Yesterday my little Draco sprouted wings, it was the most amazing thing, they seemed to just pop out of his scales. He's been trying to fly all day today. He will climb up on the couch and jump, he's got gliding down but he starts to flap too late. I think he can understand me cause when I made a suggestion about flapping in the first place, he took it. So I've been encouraging him more. I can't wait to show the kids when they come home.

He has become the most amazing pet, and I can't wait to watch him grow up, everyone I tell thinks I got an iguana, I guess I just don't feel like correcting them. My little dragon, the perfect pet, I just wish the cats would lighten up.

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Writing Exercise, two people walk out of a building.

They walked out of the building, hand in hand.  It had been so long since they had seen each other and the noises of the Boston streets welcomed them as they stepped off the stoop.  She looked up at him and smiled, gazing into his deep blue eyes. She studied his face that wasn't young anymore, but still had the charms from high school.  He smiled in return and tugged her toward down town.

They headed to the dunkin` donuts shop at the edge of the street.  She had told him how her days in Washington state had been empty without the taste of eastern coffee.  On a whim he felt she needed to relive that part of her past.  Starbucks for him had always been a bit lacking in a certain taste and far too expensive.  He loved the idea of not having to break the bank to enjoy a dunk-a-chino, his sweet tooth begged for it even now and he laughed at the idea.  She squeezed his hand and they felt like teenagers again in the streets of Gardner MA where things had been simple and peaceful.

She had come to Boston to visit a cousin and had found him online.  They had agreed to see each other, to catch up.  Neither of them was expecting to feel the love they had both felt so long ago.  It just seemed right to be together, even just to walk down the street of an unfamiliar city for both of them.

Memories flashed through her mind of the times when they had climbed the big chair on Elm Street by the elementary school.  She wondered if it was still there and if the kids still sat on it pretending to be Jack and the Bean Stalk sitting in the giants chair as she had.  Her brown hair wafted into her eyes and she brushed it back with a flip.

He laughed, "I love it when you do that."  He was almost unable to contain the buried feelings of 20 years.  It had been too long and they both had separate lives now.  He wondered what would happen now, with her only here for a week before her vacation was up and she would leave his life again.  He brought her closer to him, wrapping his arm around her waist as they walked, she pushed herself against his chest as they reached the shop and entered.

It had been a nice visit but they both knew it would end, and they would be on the opposite ends of the country again.  He would again sit in his office at the Gardner News and she would be off doing her work for the Seattle Times.  This was just a social visit, and they both wished it could be so much more.  They had their coffee and enjoyed what time they had left, each moment burned into their memories with deeper longing and love that would never be forgotten.